Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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