if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
