The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
