I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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