I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
