Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
