Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
