I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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