I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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