I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
