i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
