I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
