I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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