Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
