He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
