Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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