I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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