JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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