I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
