Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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