I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
