Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
