I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
