OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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