Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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