This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
