So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
