ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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