Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
