Im at strip club and am horny
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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