Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
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