hotel room ftw
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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