so that wasnt chicken after all
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
