I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
