Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
