Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
