Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Randomize
