Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
