Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
