when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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