VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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