i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
