PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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