They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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