I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
