Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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