Plan B is the new Plan A
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
