i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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