Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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