I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
