Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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